Valentines Day: the day of love, or more accurately, the day of single awareness. However commercialized the holiday is, it doesn’t dismiss a lot of the feelings that are brought up on this day for many people. It can be a day of reminding those of us who aren’t a relationship of our singleness. Which, I don’t know about you, but I don’t mind the majority of any other day. Even if we are content, and maybe even happy, there is a force around Valentines Day looming over trying to make you feel otherwise about your singleness. Or at least it is true for me.
Many people already know how I stand about Valentines Day. There shouldn’t be just one day dedicated to showing someone that you love them (or that they love you!). Love should be shown always, more than one day a year.
I believe that the looming force around Valentines Day that makes you question your happiness alone is a bug that should be taken care of. This is the time of year to remind yourself of your happiness, your passions, your loved-ones, and your goals. Here are some of the affirmations I live by in my singleness.
1. “It’s not about finding the right person, it’s a matter of being the right person when the one walks by.”
Perfectly summed up by my friend, they’re right. A relationship is two individuals who are individually together. You have to work yourself before you can be with someone else. Transfer the energy you’d have in a relationship onto yourself. Always learn new skills, make new friends, strive for your goals, analyze how you feel, learn to understand ‘how you work’, get to the nitty-gritty stuff in your life and manage it.
2. You’re not alone
The problem a lot of people have with Valentines Day is that they equate singleness with loneliness. You want to feel loved right? Thankfully there’s many definitions and version of love. If you feel lonely, (which is totally valid to feel) take a moment to evaluate those who surround you. There are already many people around you who love you. Even if they don’t show love how you want them to, they still love you. That is why even if you feel lonely, realistically, you aren’t.
3. There is nothing wrong with being single
The Valentines Day loom makes you feel like there is something wrong with singleness when in reality, there’s nothing wrong with it. Singleness is a time to focus on self-care, expanding your horizons, cultivating friendships, and do what you’re passionate about.
4. You’ll be with someone eventually, so enjoy your time alone
You have your whole life ahead of you! I wouldn’t worry about not having someone to spend Valentines Day with because you will have someone eventually. Enjoy your time alone and continue to make new memories.
5. “Flings” only hurt yourself
If your dating for fun rather than for marriage (or the long-run if you prefer), you’re dating to get hurt. Sorry to say this on the ‘day of love’, but if you don’t see your life being with the person your dating, then you’re going to break up. Now I’m not saying that that process is going to happen today, but it will happen at some point on some day. Unless you found the one, you don’t really want to be in a relationship right now. Don’t sabotage yourself into the self-inflicted emotional pain of a breakup.
6. There is nothing wrong with you for a past relationship never working out
Things don’t work out for a lot of reasons so don’t fret about it. Related to #1, you should see where you can improve for the future. But analyzing things that can personally work on doesn’t = that there is something wrong with you. Remember the distinction. Reminder: things don’t work out for a lot of reasons.
7. You can’t rush finding your future perfect relationship
Finding the one takes time, and that is okay. It has to be “right time, right place” kind of thing. Let the passing of time be to your benefit. Related to #1, work on yourself. Better yourself so that when the time comes, you are the person you want to be. Work on yourself first and the rest will come in time.
Remember that you’re not alone today and that one day you will be able to celebrate Valentines Day how you fantasize it in the movies. Until then, celebrate the day of love. Show yourself some self-love and treat yourself. If there’s something that you want to do, do it! Go alone or force your friends to come with. On the bright side of being single, you don’t have to stress about making “perfect” romantic plans. You get to focus on the real part of Valentines Day: showing love to yourself and showing love to the support around you.
Now, if you want to laugh, check out last years Valentines Day Post: Pickup Lines to Use on Your Valentine
Cultivate Love for Others and Yourself,
Have a Happy Valentines Day!